Ash Wednesday

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I went to church. It was very crowded. The first person I saw when I entered church was a girl wearing a white dress with pink purple and red hearts. She wore this with leggings and boots. She wore a white hair tie. She had long blonde or light brown hair. Her older sister was wearing a pink dress. There were very few kids. Most were college students.

After the three readings there was the sermon. Right after the sermon they started distributing ashes. In Kerala on Ash Wednesday there is school so I have never been to church as such on Ash Wednesday.

Some girls come to class wearing a black cross on the forehead. I have thought of it as the Christian bindi because some girls draw a small cross on the forehead instead of smearing the forehead with a huge black cross. Once I remember going with my grandfather to church on Ash Wednesday. My grandfather sometimes brought ashes for us.

I don't remember going with my parents. Yesterday I stood in line and got to go for ashes in the room next to the main church where the mass is held. I usually see students there and there are couches, TV etc.

It was there that I got ashes. I was given ashes by a girl wearing overalls and a green long sleeved top. I have noticed this girl before.

As she put the ashes on my forehead she said you are of dust and to dust you will return. I don't remember what they say in Kerala.

The words made me think. Is this not pessimistic. To tell you will return to dust. Right after that I went to the bus stop and came home.

During the bus ride I continued to think of dust. That is the opposite of hope. I was so filled with foreboding. Is this right or wrong? So what they say in Ash Wednesday is it right, I am not sure but I think life experiences will tell me and I just have to cling to Jesus. May be they are saying this as a vestige of a medieval custom. I wish I knew what they say in Kerala.

Then I looked up Ash Wednesday in my phone and realized it is not a day of obligation. And I was relieved. As I stood in line I realized yesterday was the first time I was going to church on Ash Wednesday in the US.

On Feb 13, I watched kolby koloff's story behind the song for the song no room. She said God says fear not lots of times in the bible. So I decided to look up fear not verses in the bible. I read lots of verses. I read it from Country living. There were verses from all the books of the Bible. So many verses were so courage giving. I read it several times. Then I saw this Bible verse good news of great joy. It is about Christmas. Jesus is good news of great joy. But we also get lots of bad news on a daily basis. That is not from Jesus. Bad news is not from Jesus. Only good news of great joy is from Jesus. So if I hear a bad news remember it is not true. The truth is Jesus. Jesus is good news of great joy. Only consider good news of great joy in your life.

So the message of you are of dust and will turn to dust seemed anti thetical to Jesus.

This year Easter is on March 31. Yesterday lent started. In the sermon the priest said in your Lenten observances practice something that will help you during the rest of the year. I was not sure what exactly I should give up. In Kerala most people give up non vegetarian food. I don't like non vegetarian food anyway. My parents always said children should not observe the harsh practices of my faith. So I decided not to give up anything instead just add some habits. Here is a list I prayerfully drew up. February 15 2024 to March 30, 2024

Read 100 pages every day.

Pray Morning and Night every day.

Write more than 100 sentences every day.

Hair care every other day.

Look beautiful every day. This was inspired by the scripture reading yesterday and also my parents instructions.